Modern Dating

A Message to All Single Men

I'm pro-marriage, but anti-ignorance.
I recognize the imperfections of a broken system in a broken world.

Writing something for single men out there as a single man.

Also writing to my son for when he's old enough to understand.

I still believe in having a life partner and am still searching. We can take breaks, but we should keep searching until we find the right person.

Nothing happens without action and effort. The only real way to never find the right person is by surrendering and giving up. Don’t buy into the black pill movement. Even if you’re already very fulfilled and whole, your best life is still out there, with genuine connection, with the right woman, someone beautiful on the inside and out.

That said, to single men, especially young men: 

I highly recommend you never get married without significant due diligence and fully understanding the divorce law in your jurisdiction FIRST. You should not simply assume you should get married, or that marriage is right for you, at least not in this world, not in the current establishment of marriage according to its broadly accepted definition today.

I would say the same to single women too, especially if they’re the higher earner and the one investing the most in a relationship financially, or emotionally, or literally physically by having kids.

In fact, one of the worst things we can do is have kids before we are 100% sure we have done maximum due diligence and found the right partner to build a family with. We owe it to ourselves and our children.

It's not about women or men, or women vs men. We really should stop generalizing men and generalizing women. It's about the system and forces at play.

I only say this because I’ve spent years in family law and fully understand the systems and forces at play, at least in the West.

Without assurance, you have everything to lose and very little to gain in a legal marriage. Marriage, by its current definition, is when you get the government and social systems involved in a romantic partnership decision between two free-thinking people. Why would anyone who respect themself, knows their worth, and wants to reach their true potential want to do this without assurance first?

You can still commit to a lifelong partner, form a covenant, and testify among your friends and family without getting married legally. Remember how men and women bonded in Genesis? The marriage defined by God is completely different than the marriage of today.

Everything we were taught about marriage was told to us by a system that doesn’t have our best interests in mind.

The only exception to this is if we know from divine signs that God was involved in the matchmaking. If God blessed it, it will be so.

Otherwise, at the very least, you need to think clearly before the single biggest decision you will make in your life outside of business.

When we go through a divorce, we can spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on legal fees alone to understand family law and deal with the entire process. We can lose far more in assets. Yet when we get married, we never bother putting in the same level of due diligence, never invest significant money to protect ourselves, and risk losing the wealth we’ve built, the people and systems we've invested in, time with our kids, and, worst of all, many hopes and dreams. We risk parts of ourselves dying forever inside. Why?

Don’t make the same mistake I did.

You can avoid unnecessary suffering.

Don’t even think about marriage until you’ve fully understood the law first, then see if it’s still something you want to do one day.

Don’t even think about marriage with someone until you’ve seen all of them inside, beyond their face and body, when you've stared deep into their eyes, their spiritual eyes, beyond the physical, and seen their inner world, where their true self is found.

Modern Dating

Toronto's dating scene royally sucks. 
It’s almost a joke.

People mostly just want to hook up. Young people, older people, all ages, all genders.

New York, LA, Vancouver, all the same.

I hear the same sentiment among both women and men across every major city in the US and Canada.

Years ago, for the first few years after I separated from my son’s mom, I was at fault for this and contributed to the problem. But eventually, I realized that dating is simply broken in today's society for both men and women.

It's easy to fool around, but it seems nearly impossible to create something real that lasts.

There’s too much unnecessary suffering for everyone involved, men and women both.

Tell me if I'm wrong.

The Problem

After a break, I’m now actively dating again to find the right partner.

The system (including dating apps) was designed on purpose to exploit fundamental flaws in our human nature to profit financially.

That said, the apps are currently still the most efficient way for busy professionals with active lives to discover potential partners.

But it’s not easy, especially in large cities, where highly eligible men and women have abundant choices, making it easy to get burnt out from the continuous disappointments of things not working out or seeing incompatible choices.

We disappoint others, and are disappointed by them. And we have to do this on repeat for every single person we meet.

Humans were fundamentally not designed for this kind of social interaction from modern dating apps or social media.

I've used and am still using (as of when I first wrote this page) all of the major dating apps and reverse-engineered all of them.

1. All of them have at least one major incorrect first principle, usually several.

2. All of them fundamentally do not have incentive-aligned business models.

To make matters worse, both men and women expect way too much from each other. I was at fault myself before realizing this.

Before the modern age, we lived in large communities and were very connected as a people in society. Almost all our needs and wants could be met outside of marriage.

We had social groups, lifelong physically close friendships, and strong support systems.

We only relied on a life partner and marriage for the unique value found only in marriage.

Now, with this individualistic worldview, we’re less connected and more isolated than ever. So when we look for a partner, we expect them to fulfill all needs and wants that previously would’ve been fulfilled outside of that relationship. If anyone wonders how sexless marriages are even possible, this is how.

The Real Solution

If a man and woman were already complete before coming together, I am 100% sure they will be forever passionate lovers because they will both simply want to give more than they take. When both people do this, it creates a flywheel towards infinite energy, expressed in all areas of their life together, including sex, in the original design of sex, far more than just the physical act and feelings.

”There's more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, 'The two become one.'" ~ 1 Corinthians 6:16-17 (MSG)

For men, this means:

1. Become as physically fit and attractive as we possibly can. Reach our physical genetic potential.
2. Get all our wants and needs met outside of our romantic partner as much as possible (obviously excluding physical intimacy). Reach our emotional and mental potential. 
3. Follow the model of love God gave us in 1 Corinthians 13. Reach our spiritual potential.

This is what I believe women deserve.

The woman worth committing to until death, the woman worth dying for, deserves the very best version of the man she finds worth committing to until death.

I know God has a destiny written for us all if we actually walk with Him.

“Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” ~ Psalms 23:6 (NIV)

Purpose of This Page

This page will record my observations, POVs, and advice for young men to hopefully help them not volunteer to make their lives unnecessarily harder and more chaotic by being with women they shouldn’t be with.

I may also create an AI-first side project to solve this atrocious problem, mainly because I need something better myself, and it doesn't exist.

I also want my son to grow up having access to something better.

Something better needs to be created with the correct first principles and a fully incentive-aligned business model, not based on greed and an insatiable desire for more.

Do companies not understand what is enough?

Why can’t Hinge, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel simply require men to input info women actually care about and women to input info men actually care about—not what they say they care about publicly out of fear of judgment and desire to conform to culture, but what they truly care about in private, in their inner dialogue. They say their end goal is to help people never have to use their apps again, to delete them, but their actions don’t align with the words from their lips.

DM me here, IRL, or on LinkedIn if you want to try it out when it's ready or if you simply want to chat about modern dating and how hilariously broken it all is :)

My Advice to Single Men and Brothers

I believe that modern dating is one of the fastest ways to understand today’s social dynamics.

Dating apps and social media in 2026 plainly reveal how far we've deviated from the original design of intimate connection and sexual human relationships.

It takes what was always there for thousands of years, amplifies it, and puts it on full blast for everyone to see.

According to our original design in Genesis:

1. We were made to have a partner in life, not to be alone.

2. We were made as sexual beings, longing for deep connection beyond just physical touch.

There are a lot of complaints without accountability on this topic.

I don't believe in the concept of complaints, not since a long time ago.

I believe in faith, action, effort.

This is what I believe is most useful to both men and women when it comes to dating today:

1) Take full accountability for ourselves.

Instead of blaming people, entire genders (this keeps happening for some reason), the system, we must take full accountability and adopt a relentless mindset to get what we want.

There's a difference between observing and recognizing truths in people, genders, and systems versus shifting accountability to them instead of ourselves.

Control what we can, leave the rest.

2) Max our physical attraction.

We're all born with different genetics, but we all have a very high potential that will never be revealed unless we aim for it.

Get into the best shape of our lives and take care of our appearances, don't lie to ourselves.

Recognize that food is mostly used as a drug these days, especially sugar.

We don’t need to look like movie stars, but we should at least be healthy, not overweight, well-groomed, and well-dressed.

If we saw ourselves the way God does, we would demand it ourselves out of maximum self-respect.

I heard Him say, “I made you for more.” And so I listened and obeyed.

3) Never outsource our own thoughts and ideas.

We owe it to ourselves to think critically for ourselves and ask why until we arrive at the first principles behind everything we observe, including people’s thoughts and behaviors, especially our own.

See and know the difference between truth and what the media wants us to think.

If we listened to the media, we would expect women to fight our wars, do things they're not physically optimized for, and we would refuse to acknowledge their hormonal differences compared to men's. Is that truly respecting women?

If we let ourselves be brainwashed, we'll believe that it is perfectly fine for men to be docile, hide behind screens, and stand back and watch as someone is treated terribly, violated, or assaulted in public, instead of jumping in and defending them and being willing to be harmed or even die in the process.

Men were called to subdue and take care of the earth and all creation.

The best hack to understand people: read actions, not words, because actions rarely lie.

4) Master our vices.

Don't sink time and energy into the wrong things that rob us of true fulfillment and keep us away from our genetic potential and spiritual authority. 

Wake up from the real matrix of mindless entertainment and cheap dopamine hits that only lead to the destruction of our brains and souls.

5) Never give up, play the long game.

We owe it to ourselves and our future partner to be the very best version of ourselves and keep searching. 

Opportunities don't magically find us.

God expects people to put in the action and effort first. This has been consistently recorded for thousands of years of human history. The sheer consistency in itself is incredible despite cultural morphing. He moves in His own time, but He is always working. Even when we don't see it, we will experience it eventually if we follow correctly. We must remember the testimonies we've witnessed and our own experiences.

6) Love people and don't dehumanize each other.

Learn ways to unapologetically but warmly stop conversations without ghosting people. Leave ghosting as a last resort.

7) Pray

Tempted to make a joke about how we're gonna need a lot of prayers to date properly. But it's actually true.

My Dating History and POV

Since separating from my son’s mom in Jan 2019, I’ve been in and out of dating.

My perspectives about modern dating and gender dynamics have changed a lot over the past 7 years.

I’ve wasted enough time dating casually with no end in mind, no definition of the relationships, just dating.

Every time I intended to date with an end in mind, I eventually somehow gravitated to someone in a committed but casual romantic relationship.

I made the mistake of doing what’s easy over what’s right.

Gave up too early.

This cycle might repeat, but I'm still going to believe in finding a life partner eventually.

Dated in 2019, stopped during COVID, restarted in 2021, stopped again in 2023, restarted very slowly and carefully in 2025, but now making it a top priority in 2026. 

Every single woman and man I know who is single thinks that modern dating is broken.

It’s becoming comical and is an example of why we need God’s grace and to give ourselves grace. 

We’re going to go through so much pain and be repeatedly disappointed along the way.

Just have to rely on humor to get through it all.

Ultimately, if we want to find the right partner, we need to take dating seriously, adopt a no excuses attitude, level up where needed, master ourselves, master modern dating, and never give up.

Even after years of meeting people who turn out to be the wrong fit, we owe it to ourselves as men to keep going.

Keep searching for the woman we were made for.

She’s out there somewhere.

I’ve played the numbers game, but at the end of the day realized that destiny truly exists, and it distorts the fabric of space and time. I’ve seen this time and time again.

I don’t have blind faith.
It’s based on evidence and lived experiences.

If we have experienced God’s amazing faithfulness in at least one dimension of life, why wouldn’t we trust that He would be faithful in literally one of the most important parts of our original design? 

Destiny also applies to finding a romantic partner, so we have to truly believe, pray, ask God for His daughter’s hand, follow the signs, not rush, and don’t go ahead of the Spirit.

What Toxic Masculinity Truly Looks Like

Netflix just released “Louis Theroux’s Inside The Manosphere”. 

Wise eyes will see that it’s not just humans operating here. There’s something beyond humans at play.

The brokenness of men and women.

The worship of money.

The endless debauchery and pursuit of sexual pleasure and immortality.

The dehumanization and objectification of both men and women.

The unspoken assumption that humans are the same as animals.

Our original sinful nature is put on full blast through social media.

Incredibly, because of powerful, purposeful brainwashing, most in it can’t see it. 

Those who think they escaped it, like the red pill manosphere men, are just in another distortion.

It’s not about men vs women. 
Not about men. Not about women.

Everyone is just lost and has no idea how much they are already loved by their Creator.

The darkness is far smarter than the smartest human. Louis Theroux‘s biggest mistake is not realizing that it’s truly not about humans. He thinks it’s just conspiracy theories. He thinks the spiritual realm and true evil don’t exist.

Only God can restore the sight of the blind.

"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light." ~ Matthew 6:22 (NIV)

A Message to Single Brothers

To avoid bringing upon a life far harder than God intended for you, I highly recommend you place strict criteria on a partner having the same faith: Christians and Catholics. Even if they’re distant from God, as long as they believe and have a relationship with Him and have faith, I believe it’s worth exploring.

Old Testament Principle: Deuteronomy 7:3-4

New Testament Instructions for this current covenant we're in: 2 Corinthians 6:14

God has a higher standard for us than those who don’t know and trust Him. It’s seriously not worth the pain of discipline and corrections to go off the straight path.

He will definitely move in the spiritual realm if we stray, and it will be very painful. He does this because He loves us too much to see us drift away from the best plans He has for us. Space and time will distort to correct us, and it will be obvious later when you look back.

I don’t experience the emotion of fear anymore. I'm alert but not afraid. However, my spirit and mind have the fear of God, the only fear I experience, and it guides me.

If you meet someone with a different faith, proceed with extreme caution or just fully derisk by not entertaining the opportunity.

Lastly, to stay focused and be aligned with divine plans that truly are not bound by the physical world, this is what I leave with you based on my own lived experience:

1) Kill the boy inside who chases women or needs any validation from them. Women are not special. Men are not special. No gender is special. Each person is special, including yourself.

2) Become someone that women pursue instead, by becoming the best version of yourself, and then adopt an abundance mentality.

3) When so many women pursue you that you can't keep up, kill the softness inside that feels anything when you have to say no. This will be extra hard for women who never experienced something like this before. It will hurt them but it's necessary and you can do it gracefully with respect. Do not do what is easy, no matter how attractive they are and how strong the chemistry is, if it's not aligned, it leads downwards. Respect them and leave ghosting as a last resort only if they're not getting the message.

I struggle here sometimes, because I'm drawn to art and visual beauty. Nowadays, women are usually more forward and direct than myself and I came close to entertaining opportunities I shouldn't. But thank God, truly, for somehow always doing something that seems perfectly timed to remind me and truly actually change my heart because I asked Him to.

The solution to the problem of sexual temptations for Christians is cliché because it's the same thing I've heard over and over again, but never understood or believed until I experienced it myself: submit to God, love God more than fleeting pleasures of the world, and love destiny more. Chase destiny in alignment with the Kingdom plans He has.

Worship, in the storm of desire, and ask Him to burn away the ashes and trade them all for gold until all that remains is purified gold.

I literally just experienced this with someone who was pretty direct in what she wanted. God moved even though I didn't know if it was even possible. I was confused. I thought maybe I still needed to do these things to get it out of my system so my curiosity dies.

But no, curiosity leads to more curiosity.

Sex with another person forms spiritual entanglement and unspoken covenants with them in the spiritual realm. If it's not aligned with God, it forms demonic covenants. They are known as soul ties. YouTube this term to learn more.

4) If you know how to seduce women, if you know the art, do not do it. It works almost every time, even on the most attractive women, but it’s simply meeting a flawed dark desire in women to be seduced, and it leads to poor outcomes long-term. It’s better not to rush and be told “I don’t feel a romantic connection” and weed out women who are lost and don’t know what deep, lasting love really is. It’s not chemistry or the butterfly feelings of love at first sight. Those can be easily manufactured if you know how. Follow the instructions God gave us in Song of Songs. It’s all there. Once you find the right person and both commit, you can meet all her desires AFTER proper vetting.

5) When women you pursue and have hopes for tell you it's not a good fit, become so abundant with choice that it does not affect you, and you genuinely wish the best for them out of love for another person. Move on and realize that when one door closes, it means there's now space for another door to open, just like in business, work, or every other aspect of life.

6) Stay focused and keep going. Operate in both the physical and spiritual realm by staying vigilant, pursuing sanctification and closeness to the divine that is God, and pray for guidance. Demand from Father, as co-heirs with Christ, to be grafted onto Kingdom plans and live your destiny. Wrestle with Him, as Jacob did.

7) Never stop praying for discernment and wisdom, so when you meet someone and sense that she might be not only a good fit, but that the matchmaking seems to be from God, you know it's time to stop using dating apps and end your own choice selection to manage greed and a lust for more. Don't become like the fools of the world who think, "could I find someone better?" even when they have the person worth loving right in front of them. Don't fall prey to the illusion of choice. The unfaithful are very lost souls, and their hearts' corruption began when they asked that question. Our sinful nature cannot be tamed. It will always lie dormant, and we must manage it by doing what we know is right, not what's easy.

--

As you do what I said above, you will see space and time distort in front of your face as you wait and not go ahead of the Spirit, and as He works, giving you divine signs and timing that even the darkness has no choice but to admit "this is God". You can call them "miracles", but they are simply the reality of God when we truly obey.

But be warned, the stronger you become, the more you threaten the world, and we all know whose world this is. You will face opposition in the spiritual and physical realms.

Fear not, because we know who already won.

It’s not our battle, it is the Lord’s.

And we know who is far greater.

So move forward, under divine cover, not around it all, but through it all.

”Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil;
For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” ~ Psalm 23:4 (NKJV)