I’m just a work in progress too

Now onto the failures, shared here because they might help at least one man out there somehow.

The 10 Commandments God originally gave us seem simple, but let me use my own failures to show you just how easy it is to not even come close to following them.

From Exodus 20 (NIV):

And God spoke all these words:

When I was married, I lived a fully agnostic life.

I returned to God shortly after I separated and started the divorce process in early 2019. I did this because I experienced too many Biblically aligned “coincidences” that kept compounding and chasing me until I admitted that the God of the Bible must be real and He was calling me back.

However, even after I was found by God, the journey had only just begun.

I was not transformed yet.

Not long ago, I did not put God first.

I focused on career achievements, grand product launches for the sake of glory for myself and other people, not to help others as the primary motive. This is worshiping worldly gods and idols.

I used to say “oh my God” or “Jesus” in vain.

I used to work on Sundays or didn’t go to church or even went on dates with women instead.

I shunned parents’ warnings or believed their ways were too traditional. I often spoke to them with disrespect and pride. I was rebellious and was proud of it.

I dated casually. Even though I exercised self-control and held back with several people because I knew I would hurt them greatly, I can never undo what has already been done. I can never forget their faces and the intimate memories.

I never even thought about quitting porn use.

When I first began affiliate marketing in 2014, I exploited customers by using false marketing. I stopped shortly after when the dirty money depressed me, but I can never undo what has already been done.

I didn’t pay taxes properly, exploited loopholes, and tried to hide income when running my own businesses.

I used to get jealous when others’ net worth was higher than mine, regardless of how much money I already had. I would feel even worse when the difference was caused by my own bad choices.

-

Writing the above makes me laugh at my old self. Such a fool of the world.

Remembering that old me now makes me feel so grateful for just being alive and knowing how good and real God is. 

All this wasn’t even that long ago.

God can transform even the worst sinners like He did with me.

-

Right now it’s Saturday, 8/2/2025, morning. It's the Civic Holiday weekend in Canada.

After the 4th watch, I took a nap. Somewhere between consciousness and sleep, I was attacked by a small demon. I know why. Small chip in armor. I didn't act on the sin physically, but did in my mind.

This time, I was not attacked by a greater demon, likely due to not having a large hole that allows it to come. Greater demons are not fun to deal with when they attack.

That time, my obedience allowed God to work and protect. God is always there, wanting to help and protect, but if we disobey, we willingly worship His enemy, and He can't work because of our lack of faith, demonstrated by lack of obedience.

"But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one." ~ 2 Thessalonians 3:3

I woke up and immediately knew I had to read my diary from my early 20s for some reason.

I saw myself on the day I lost my virginity, which was this exact weekend, on Civic Holiday weekend in 2012. 8/6/2012. 13 years ago. Did not realize it was the same weekend. Maybe this isn't significant, but it seemed like an odd coincidence.

Last night, before bed, I was asking God if the mission He gave me is real or not because my own brother didn't even believe it. My faith began wavering.

God said:

"But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." ~ 2 Peter 3:8–9

I immediately understood it as: God sent the mother, among others, to slow things down ahead so workers like me can keep going and do our best to wake people up and get lost souls back Home.

After I got up from the nap and read my diary from 2010 - 2013, I knew I had to write this page and put it up immediately. If you know me, I do not procrastinate. I wait for signals, then as soon as I see what must be done, I move with conviction.

I wrote this page now because four things happened together all at once. If it's just one or two of these, it's not enough to convince me to reveal such personal details publicly. I don't do these things unless I know with assurance that it's instruction from God.

== 1) Last night, God told me via that verse above, 2 Peter 3:8–9, to keep going. He wants people saved. ==

I was about to sleep without doing my daily devotional, but then I decided to at least open the Bible app and just look at the verse only.

He says to stop complaining. 

He reminded me via His Spirit, "My Son Jesus' earthly brothers didn't believe him at first, too." 

Ok, I'll try.

== 2) Last night, one and only one person requested to connect with me on LinkedIn. I knew he was a brother from my spiritual eyes. ==

The connection request came right when I was reading the Bible verse above.

I asked him directly as my first message if he’s a follower of Christ because I already sensed from looking at his eyes and name on LinkedIn, and just wanted to level set.

He confirms yes, he's Christian.

He says he was about to sleep, but then he felt compelled to connect.

He seems young, and he asked me something about how I combine faith and professional ambitions.

Edit 10/22/2025: this was at a time when I was not obvious about my faith on LinkedIn. It was very early days in my pursuit of doing good on that platform. People who connected with me would not have known I followed God. It was a very special temporary time window when I had unnatural abilities of insight and specifically was able to look into eyes of people and see things. Personally I believe God did this to confirm to me that He truly did give some assignments that I need to do despite how hard they are.

== 3) This morning, I read my diary from 2010-2013, and it's full of stupidity and pain that the entire world is still repeating right now, especially the younger generation. ==

It all stems from not having an identity and purpose in God, the one who created us. 

I was agnostic during this period and abandoned my faith completely.

I chased sex, money, worldly success, titles, and made plans for myself relying on human effort, thinking there is nothing greater than human effort. Implying that we are gods of our own lives.

I married my son's mom because she's physically attractive, despite hundreds of warnings and signals that it was a bad idea. We just didn’t fit. Epic fail on my part. I paid the price through the marriage falling apart. Our divorce process lasted from January 2019 to late 2021. I take responsibility. Regardless of everything she did that I don’t approve of, it was I who chased her first. She never initiated the relationship.

In my diary, I saw that I was dating my son’s mom on and off. So much fighting. So much suffering for both people.

Massive pain. Tears. Agony.

Scars upon scars caused the gradual closing and changing of my heart and maybe her heart too.

It’s all recorded.

I was confused about dating, life, and career.

I was enjoying sex with extreme physical satisfaction that fulfilled my lust, but I had no idea that my soul was dying.

We fought constantly.

But for some reason, the more we fought, the more frequent we had sex, and the sex was purely to enjoy the physical pleasure.

Is this what people call "passion"? I don't know. But this should NOT be pursued.

All those reality TV shows about "passion" will lead people astray.

You cannot tame the Greater Demon of Lust.

It’s clear to me now that that kind of sex is not real intimacy. But back then, I remember it was just what I knew to be sex. I thought it was perfectly normal and good.

I was using my performance in bed with women to fulfill a gap in my soul, my deep insecurities. I believed that if I made women feel good, then they wouldn't leave me.

I was Godless, a degenerate, so of course I wanted to cling to something.

I recorded in my diary that I was comparing myself to others, feeling angry, jealous, stressed, and unhappy. I had a lot of career and money stress.

I was making so many human plans yet feeling anxious.

It wasn’t clear to me back then, but it’s obvious now that often human plans lead to anxiety and worries because they assume human effort is all there is to realize the plans.

But human effort cannot be fully trusted.
Human effort usually comes short.
So many things can go wrong.

Whenever plans go right, we take credit.

When plans go wrong, we blame the world or something else. 

In "Thinking, Fast and Slow", Daniel Kahneman discusses the psychological tendency known as the "self-serving bias", where people attribute successes to their own abilities and failures to external circumstances.

As a young man making plans for my life, I had nothing and no one to truly depend on that I could put full faith in. I can only depend on myself, right? 

That's fundamentally an insanely scary thing.

How can anyone not be anxious eventually?

How can anyone possibly have pure bliss and peace if they lived with this assumption?

This is what happens when we chase and force outcomes without The Rock being at the center of it all.

It's what happens when we don't lean on the Cornerstone to guide and build our lives around.

We need God.

God made us.

He loved us before He laid the foundations of the universe.

So how can we possibly think we can find identity and purpose that outdoes our Creator's identity and purpose defined for us?

It's just logical thinking.

But we don’t just have blind faith in God.

We don’t believe in God because we’re weak, as most critics will say, we follow despite it being the much harder path, because of what we saw: evidence of God seen with spiritual and physical eyes.

Can anyone look me in the face today, stand beside me, and say I believe in God because I'm weak? Come on.

There is a reason why God called me to a standard higher than most Christian men.
It's not easy. My pain is unseen.

I am truly weak, but not in the sense that the world defines it.

I rejoice knowing that God's Power is perfected in my weakness.

== 4) Yesterday morning, I had a God and demon talk with my friend ==

Yesterday I met up with a friend, and we never talked about God before. We worked a lot together in the past. He tells me that he believes a terrible health problem happening in his life is probably a sign from God.
I knew it was because I saw the demon on him weeks ago, but I didn’t say anything about it being a demon since we don’t discuss anything spiritual or faith-based. I've been warning him for weeks using practical examples, and he didn't do anything until he ended up in the ER. SMH.

He tells me that many years ago, someone he worked with just entered a special mode all of a sudden during lunch, and spoke to him about my friend's life purpose from God. As he sat there listening, tears rolled down his face because he had never felt so understood. After lunch, that guy warps back to regular mode. The funny thing is, they never talked about it, and none of them said anything about each other's faith or Christianity. They just moved on like nothing happened.

I immediately knew what happened because I do the same.

At work, the Spirit makes me act in normal mode to blend in.

The Spirit works in mysterious ways.

Now, here's the insane part. I did not tell my friend about my demonic encounters in detail. I described being unable to move and seeing pure darkness, and feeling the sense of pure evil. I did not tell him about the brain and head feeling like it's being pulled on.

He looks at me like "yeah, that happens to me all the time."

I'm like, "...really...like a medical thing?"

He's like, "nah, since I was a teenager, sometimes Satan would press me on the ground, other times it's like you, pressed on the bed, you can't move, it's pitch black, and it's an evil feeling, and in your mind, it feels like it's trying to bite your head off."

Dude.

He described the same demon I fought.

I ask him, "...so, how many times did this happen?"

He's like, "Oh, ever since I was a teenager, so 100 times or more? Maybe...yeah, definitely over 100 times actually."

Dude.

I need to learn.

So he teaches me about how to beat them, especially the lesser demons, the small ghoul things.

So today, as of 8/2/2025, I faced that small ghoul thing for the first time.

It looked exactly like a goblin. It didn’t look like a ghoul or how I imagined these to look based on my friend’s description.

It was pulling my legs upwards and to the left side as I was sleeping on my stomach.

It was making an evil shriek kind of sound while it stood far in the distance, hiding behind something. It was scared of me.

It was not like the greater demon of lust. That thing was insane. It was definitely trying to devour me and was not afraid of me. Good thing I called on God for that one.

When I saw this lesser demon, I knew it was a slave, a tiny pawn. It was probably forced to come to me even though it sensed I would overpower it with faith in God by His Grace. It fled immediately when I rebuked it, and it made that shrieking sound as it ran back to the abyss. I’m grateful for His protection and humbled that His power, not mine, overcomes evil.

We know from the Bible that people chosen to be God’s warriors are attacked the most by demons because Satan saw.
He saw when God was trying to awaken them. Now my friend and I are trying to figure out what God wants him to do.

My spirit senses and my physical eyes see incredible compressions of God's plans. I've documented it all as timestamped screenshots. But I'm not sure what to do with them yet. I pray and I rely on God to lead. I'm also pairing with a Godly pastor who has the gift of discernment. I'm also looking for what I assume to be a Watchmen society somewhere out there, or at least just one more awakened Watchman, just to compare notes and cross-reference before we reveal everything we see, our translation of Revelations for today’s era. We likely won’t understand everything (unless the end days are around the corner), but there’s already Wisdom from another Source beyond human intelligence, revealing many aspects. Not sure, but I sense this is likely part of God's final calling for me on earth.

What I do know is that the time is drawing near due to AI, and I sense many of God’s Warriors just awakened, or are about to awaken, like I did in July 2025.

It was always wartime. I just never realized.

If you're ready for some dark truths of reality, see this page on the Spiritual War that began when Lucifer fell.

[Update 10/11/2025] Since writing the above, I met a Watchwoman, who received the same visions, and we connected on LinkedIn literally as I was praying to God to meet just one more person with these experiences and visions. I'll pair with her at some point in God's timing and listen for instructions.

Peace be with you, my friend.